The Lair Legion Barbecue Part 5 - Tales of the Parodyverse

The Lair Legion Barbecue Round Robin Part 5

    "Here," Hatman heard a soft voice offer as he stood over a hot barbecue grill in a chef's hat. He was standing in the middle of an increasingly large and noisy crowd - what was originally a Lair Legion Barbecue had become the party of the century.

    He turned around at first but aimed his sights a little high, nearly missing the source of the voice. When he looked down a little he could see Liu Xi Xian standing next to him holding several stacked trays of raw meats and vegetables ready to be grilled - much needed supplies with the sudden swell of guests. She looked as if she was struggling under its weight. But more unusually, she looked a little uneasy.

    "Let me take that," Hatman told her as he quickly reached down and took the trays, setting them aside next to the grill. Her slight fearful look didn't vanish even after the weight no longer strained her small frame. "What's wrong?" he asked.

    "Too many people," she replied meekly. "Too much noise."

    "That's Dream for you," Hatman half laughed, half sighed. "Anything he does specializes in noise and chaos."

    "Yes," Liu Xi flashed a quick smile. "I'm...going to find somewhere quiet. Good luck."

    "Hang around in the garden," Hatman suggested. "It's still quiet there because it's a maze of plants and trees. I'll bring you some food in a bit."

    "Thank you." Liu Xi bowed slightly and nearly walked away, but then she changed her mind. "You're sweating. Need something cold?"

    "I guess I could use a little something," Hatman replied with a shrug.

    Liu Xi looked both directions, and then suddenly stepped back. In the very spot she was standing before she moved was a twelve foot tall ice sculpture that looked just like the lighthouse on the edge of the island. She nodded to Hatman and smiled. She produced a bottle of water she didn't have before and placed it on a small alcove carved into the ice. "Enjoy," she said as she strolled away.

---

    "This crowd is rapidly getting out of hand," Yuki noted as she held out a paper plate with a bun covered in mustard and waited for Hatman to add a perfectly grilled hot dog. She was going to ask him how he was holding out until she turned and nearly collided with a giant ice sculpture. "Who put this here?"

    "Oh, that was Liu Xi," Hatman replied. "She was trying to help. It is keeping my drink nice and cold, and I'm getting a nice cool breeze from it."

    "I'm pretty good with a barbecue grill, so if you need some relief I can take over for a while."

    That's when CrazySugarFreakBoy crammed himself between Hatman and Yuki. "Hatty does need some relief. It's been a looong time for him. Some hot cybernetic ass is just what he needs to--"

    "Dream, please." Hatman frowned and tried to silently urge him to move on to something else. Luckily, CSFB! actually did.

    "How does he do that?" Yuki asked as she carefully leaned against the ice sculpture. "Come out of nowhere, hang on one word in a phrase, and turn it into something lewd?"

    "It's a talent he has," Hatman replied with a laugh.

    "From what he said it sounds like you're waiting for Zdenka to return." She ignored when Hatman nearly dropped a steak right into the hot coals. "I mean, I assume you told him that's why you're not 'playing the field' and he thought it was noble but sad."

    "I know you're a detective and all, Yuki," Hatman replied diplomatically, "But honestly I'm a little...embarassed talking about Zdenka and my personal life to everyone."

    "I understand," Yuki replied, raising her hands defensively. "You want to keep your personal life private. I have no intention of trying to force you out of it. I just thought I'd tell you that...I think it's incredibly sweet. There's something a little old fashioned about it that's not really my style but I still like it."

    Hatman paused for a moment to flip over some of the items on the grill before curiosity got the best of him. Against his better judgement he couldn't help but ask, "What is your style?"

    Yuki smiled as she replied, "I guess I'm still at a stage in my life where having fun is more important than stability. I don't mind things changing from one moment to the next." Her smiled changed to a smirk as she added, "You could say I like being hot cybernetic ass sometimes."

    Hatman didn't react to her use of language that time.

    She moved away from the ice sculpture and took a deep breath. "I'm going to go circulate. Just call me over if you need anything." Yuki instinctively looked around to see if CSFB! was going to appear and make another lewd comment, but he didn't that time. "See you around."

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Liu Xi Xian, Yuki Shiro, Lara Night, Chiaki Bushido (Psychic Samurai) (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, all rights reserved
-- All other characters property of their respective owners

Post By Anime Jason posts a short piece just to hurry killer shrike Wed Jul 19, 2006 at 02:17:25 am EDT	Subject The Lair Legion Barbecue Part 5

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